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The Lurker Greeting
Latin Name: Greetus lurkus inwaitae
After offering a greeting and receiving a short response, this greeter lurks by, usually seeing the greeting as an invitation to open a conversation.
Lurk! What a strange word. According to etymonline, “lurk” is “probably Scandanavian” in origin (related to “lurken”, which sounds like a condiment made from salted fish, as in, ‘would you like some lurken on that zucchini?’). Lurking also is used to describe those who consume, but do not contribute to, social online communities. The interesting thing is that, in the lurker greeting, the lurker possesses an anticipation of speaking with the greeted; who might (as this image predicts) be otherwise occupied.
According to Poli (2010), future studies’ (the study of what we think about what will be) theories, generalized, posit that “… (1) the future is at least partly governed by the past; and (2) the future can be better confronted by opening our minds and learning to consider different viewpoints… “. That makes sense. Very new-age.
This is applicable to the Lurker Greeting because, the anticipating lurker might best reflect on the past (that they’ve been waiting to speak with the greetee for some time; and that the greeting subject might be busy) whilst considering just how long to lurk in wait. And, should the lurker confer with their imagination, they may just learn a different viewpoint: that the intended greetee might need to go elsewhere after wrapping up their dialogue. Like, the bathroom. Or, for a coffee. Or, really, anywhere but to speak with a person who has been peeking into the office or over the cube wall for the past few minutes.